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itchy veins Novocaine stop these voices in my brain

She's the Robin Hood of Highgate

12/20/14 03:16 pm

I stay with a nightmare

12/18/14 11:04 pm

I've realised. I'm just a connector.

12/18/14 12:21 pm - Crabs, lobsters and crayfish

Should i tell you how it feels. The rules of our engagement so different, so vastly varied within its many facets. Who am I really in this dauntingly troublesome task of life to ensure you fit and mould to my quietly extravagant requirements, when the person I fell in love with never possessed those qualities.

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12/5/14 09:12 am - The grand finale.

Boys. Their egos like steadfast steads will never cease to amaze me. My own flesh and blood boasting of harbouring a witch in this home. Good heavens Emie had her horse load's of wits about her enough to hasten my end before the rest did. Her mother's gem, i always did believe.

12/2/14 11:52 pm - So.. you want to be in... esque? And you have a degree? Really? Wtf is nit?

Nov 27, 11:53 PM - sarah ow: My staff number is 00222158 sorry i just got bk from turn :(
Nov 28, 4:58 AM - Cheryl Tan: Np. Cof for wat flt n date?
Nov 28, 10:48 AM - sarah ow: Um your urgent melbourne
Nov 28, 11:58 AM - Cheryl Tan: When is ur mel
Nov 28, 11:58 AM - Cheryl Tan: N flt no again pls
Nov 28, 12:43 PM - sarah ow: 6 dec sq227
Nov 28, 12:43 PM - sarah ow: My name is sarah and i have been emailing you replies. Idk if you still want the flight.
Nov 28, 1:47 PM - Cheryl Tan: I get back to u by 4 dec pls
Nov 28, 1:47 PM - Cheryl Tan: Nit to clear my sbcu 1st
Nov 28, 3:03 PM - sarah ow: Um ok. Thought you said urgent.
Nov 29, 1:14 AM - Cheryl Tan: Ya but i hv standby to clear 1st
Nov 29, 1:14 AM - Cheryl Tan: Urs 3 days mel?
Nov 29, 2:30 AM - sarah ow: Yes
Nov 29, 2:31 AM - sarah ow: Sorry its 217
Nov 29, 2:31 AM - sarah ow: Im mistaken
Nov 29, 2:31 AM - Cheryl Tan: Ok 6 to 8 dec sq217
Nov 29, 2:31 AM - Cheryl Tan: Tgx
Nov 29, 2:32 AM - Cheryl Tan: 9 dec i hv rgn turn tho
Nov 29, 2:32 AM - sarah ow: Uh huh
Nov 30, 3:42 PM - Cheryl Tan: Gal u keen rgn turn on 9 dec for ur off
Nov 30, 3:42 PM - Cheryl Tan: Rpt 0555 sta 1510
Nov 30, 3:42 PM - Cheryl Tan: Most likely i maintain my own mel
Nov 30, 3:42 PM - sarah ow: No thanks
Nov 30, 3:42 PM - Cheryl Tan: Pls csdr. Can swap wif oth off days u nit
Nov 30, 3:43 PM - sarah ow: I dont nit.
Nov 30, 6:13 PM - Cheryl Tan: Gal 5 dec u hv off rite
Nov 30, 6:18 PM - sarah ow: Yes.
Nov 30, 6:18 PM - sarah ow: I dont want to tale your rgn
Nov 30, 6:18 PM - sarah ow: Take*
Nov 30, 6:18 PM - sarah ow: So lets just forget it ok
Nov 30, 6:19 PM - Cheryl Tan: Nono
Nov 30, 6:20 PM - Cheryl Tan: We cof mel only
Nov 30, 6:20 PM - Cheryl Tan: No nit take my rgn
Nov 30, 6:20 PM - sarah ow: What was the delay for
Nov 30, 6:22 PM - sarah ow: Aiyah it doesnt matter.
Nov 30, 6:23 PM - sarah ow: Just tell me what you want then let me know. I have a fk load of shit to do in sg and i thought this wouldnt be dragging so long.
Nov 30, 6:23 PM - Cheryl Tan: I nit to tink 1st
Nov 30, 6:23 PM - Cheryl Tan: Ufta decide i send u cof
Nov 30, 6:23 PM - Cheryl Tan: Got ur staff no
Nov 30, 6:24 PM - sarah ow: Whats up with your english man.
Nov 30, 6:24 PM - sarah ow: Cheryl tan. I think you keep your flight and i keep mine. Thanks for the offer. But maybe its just better if we dont cof.
Nov 30, 6:24 PM - sarah ow: Gnight.
Nov 30, 6:28 PM - Cheryl Tan: Pls dun b angry
Nov 30, 6:28 PM - Cheryl Tan: I will cfm wif u by tmr
Nov 30, 6:28 PM - Cheryl Tan: So sorry abt it
Nov 30, 6:52 PM - sarah ow: Look. Im not going to cof with you. But i need you to understand why.

1. The world does not revolve around you and taking your own sweet time to decide what fuck flight you wanna take from someone will definitely INCONVENIENCE them and their schedule. You have to realise that other people have their own lives to run too ESPECIALLY when the flight you want to give them is a day EARLIER than their expected work flight for the month.

2. Not everyone likes to adulterate and fuck around with their spellings and some people can get massively irritated by it especially when you dont know what you want from them and they dont know you personally. You then come across as someone people cant take seriously because how you portray yourself is reflected in the way you type.

3. Please know what you want before you ask something from someone. Be it flights or whatever you want in life. If not you're just being selfish by limiting the other party by hogging all the options they may have.

Think about it.
Nov 30, 6:55 PM - Cheryl Tan: Sorry
Nov 30, 6:55 PM - Cheryl Tan: Can i send u cof now
Nov 30, 6:55 PM - Cheryl Tan: Pls dun b angry

7/13/12 11:57 am - calls.

You get a call.
You pick up.

"hello? Sarah?
"huh? yea?"
 

"Hi yea Xnjkdfubdxs here.."
"uh. WHO?"

"uh..oh! sorry wrong number!"


You listen to the hollow of your phone and do a double take at the screen.
*Call ended*  
(table)    
*swag homescreen*   [beams]

------------------------------------------------



the thing about "wrong number" phone calls is that little feeling of "touching the unknown" or "exploring the frontiers beyond your phone book", even "(personal)space(yes) invaders".
either typing the wrong coordinates in or fumbling with trying to brilliantly recall the faded marker streaks of that number that chick at that seat told you to call her at.. you usually ever get that embarrassing moment of "WHO?"
at which you'd either
A) apologize and curtly drop the call (+ 5 points)
or
B) get abruptly disconnected (GAME OVER)




***********



imagine you're on the receiving end.
an unrecognizable number.
an unfamiliar voice.

"how'd they get my number?"
"why do i not have them in my phonebook?"
"do other people have my number?"
"was the call really meant for me?"
"who are they?!"


you think about how they know your number exists with you on the other end.
you think about where they could be calling from - home? the toilet? at work? at their girlfriend's parents place?
you think about what the purpose of their call was..
could you have helped? maybe you'd have a better solution.
you think about what their voice was like
you think about how ugly they look based on that voice
you think about what they first said
and you recall..





they know your name.

2/1/12 04:27 pm - on showers.




little bird little bird little bird..
i've got one more question

recently, 'i've been looking at people's general preference for female house or room mates when they're renting a place out.
it's pretty queer. why the preference?
the stereotypical girl. princessy (will not do housework?), homemakers, motherly (domestic goddesses? ironic when presented with the previous characteristic), docile, catty (yet another contradicting point), considerate yet they take very long showers..

i really don't care about the other points but the thing about those contradicting points is that they're usually individualistic. long showers on the other hand has always been a long standing complaint(?) within most masculine conversations.
standing in the shower and perhaps just stoning and not doing anything in general is comforting and the heat of the water usually appeals to the female kind (statistically).
i understand and side with that but another more personal reason for my leaning towards this rather inconsiderate endeavor is the seclusion of the self. i like being alone in the shower. i mean yea, some people enjoy the occasional (i think) shower with their whoevers, but most would rather consider it their own "me time".

should do a poll on this sometime, it'll probably dig up interesting points.

considering my past issues with my family and ex boyfriends my showers have always been a time to hide from the problems that tend to erupt with most of my long standing relationships.

when a fight between my dad and i are over, i would hit the showers and it was only then, when i was allowed to shower, without him screaming at me to get out and continue a riff that i would know everything was over and it would be quiet again. the shower provided a safe haven from the broken glass, noise and the crying, the water raining down would ignite some sort of release of relief.
for ex boyfriends it would just be the running away for the time i was in the shower. but in the end coming back to conversations about where i was and why i had to take so long and other insecure matters..

i guess considering how long i've been using cubicles as a mini asylum, it has solidified into a routine and a quick draw into some very warped form of pleasure. thank god for waterfalls and greek ingenuity. 

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4/10/11 12:16 am

you're my rock. and i feel so much for you.
so much more everyday. so cheesy but. darn. yea.
you're the only one who seems to get under my skin, and unknowingly manage to find out the only way to get me to do the things i never thought i'd ever do for anyone.
i appreciate you so much. it's almost erasing the pain that got us here.
it's funny, you're the only one that's managed to get me started on weaning off the mental crutches of my habit.
i love you.





Mr. Awesauce Nukeman.

3/5/11 05:13 pm - coincidence, maybe?

the nicest thing happened to me while leaving singapore.
i got called up in the morning of my rest day after coming back the night before from brisbane.
the flight was nice too, light load, nice people to serve.
being called up wasn't the nice part though.. it was shitty and i got really upset because i had work to be done yet.
wesley was really nice, and he helped me with it. a lot of it.
anyway, it was planned the night before, that i was gonna be out with him the entire day. so i went as planned. dad wasn't informed until i was already out and had some lunch. i wasn't really hungry because i was still upset though.

but i was out with wesley, but i couldn't contain my annoyance. tried being ok though, i guess i may have failed miserably. was in his room working on my essay and got really wound.

went out for a great dinner at sakura, did a little shopping at ntuc and went back. ended up, wesley did about 90% of my essay and i felt terrible.
i got home took a nice long shower, and started prepping, stress packing and all that. time to leave and wesley, waiting for me at starbucks, hijacking a table with a cold coffee and finished my essay came over to get me.
thing was that i told dad earlier in the day that i had a free cab from the company and it was coming to get me. i had a really heavy cargo bag and nice enough as the thought was he was going down to the cab with me to help me put my luggage into the boot.
i called wesley, anxious, as i was lugging my cargo bag from my room into the living room.
"my dad's going to come down with me.." i trailed and ended the call as he said "huu, he's coming down to the cab?"

however, since i made wesley wait for me and do my assignment, he would be the one waiting downstairs and not a cab. ah. damn. and i already cancelled the "company" taxi. such is life.
i panicked all the way from my door to the lift, almost throwing up and wanting to spill the beans on the still unknown fact that wesley drives and he offered to drive me to work. (cancelled cab) so amidst the panicking the lift got to the ground floor and almost as the end of the pillar blocking the view of the pick up point grew nearer, i said to my dad, ".. uh.. dad.."
and he looked at me still walking, to the stationary cab in the middle of the road. wesley's car was in the usual pick up drive way and i swallowed a breath "dad, it's ok" he ignored me.
we both got to the cab, i was beading with cold sweat as he opened up the car boot, lugged the cargo bag into it and i struggled to adjust my cabin bag to fit into the boot. he did it for me as my hands trembled at the thought that the driver would come out and tell me it's not my cab. i kept mum the entire time as he stayed in the driver's seat and i opened the door to get in. i looked out of the window as i closed the door. breathing heavy.

i looked at the taxi driver and struggled to look for the company decal in the windscreen. there was none. so i guess it really wasn't my cab. i looked at him and asked in mandarin "are you here to get someone to the airport?" "huh" came the blunt answer, "you're here to fetch someone else?" i looked out of the window again and my dad was nowhere in sight. i asked him, "you're here to fetch?" "i don't know"
i saw wesley, walking to the cab and i smiled a little, nervous, panicking still, wondering what the fuck was going on.

"i got a cab for you" he said, grinning at me. i stuttered a little "omg, huh, what!" i got my bags out of the taxi in a rush and thanked the driver, wesley paid him $4. i thanked the driver over and over.

apparently right after i called wesley, he was downstairs and he spotted a cab dropping someone off. he stopped the dude and asked him to wait for a "kong jie" and maybe bring me around the block if need be. after bribing him a little the driver obliged and waited for me. after a few seconds my dad and i arrived. in the nick of time.

those moments, left me, awkwardly shocked. my limbs already tired from the day, got even weaker. shock. seemingly.
wesley is a legandary, awesome miracle maker. <3

2/13/11 11:15 pm

 they say your head's linked to your heart
funny how i never believed it, up till now.
i feel the biggest migraine coming up.
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